Perhaps Honesty Is The Best Policy but it has some dark sides too The problem in being honest is that it can result in far more confrontations than lying does and most of us want to avoid those confrontations at all costs. Being honest, by itself, is fantastic! However, that honesty can easily be mistaken as being blunt, mean or too direct. The problem here is that most people cannot accept honesty for what it is; a point of view. ( As explained below)
“Honey, you do look fat in that dress.”
“To be honest, I find that man a lot sexier than you.”
“No, I do not want to hang out with you… I don’t really like you that much.”
When your partner asks you whether or not that dress makes them look fat, and you say yes, that is just your subjective point of view. In no way does that mean that you dislike that they look fat, or that your partner suddenly got less sexy because of it. However, just because you are being innocent and honest doesn’t mean your partner will perceive it as such.
Honesty Is The Best Policy – The answer ?
When someone calls you stupid, for example, that is only because something led them to believe that. Somehow, though some experiences they had with you, they are perceiving you that way. This means that one person, through a limited amount of interactions, noted one part of you. It does not mean it is all you are, it does not mean that they dislike you because of it, and it does not mean that you need to take this seriously or that it needs to affect you in any perpetual way. It is just their point of view!
Honesty is not always the best policy for some. It’s because of the confusing meanings or misinformed intentions that make honesty a very complex and confrontational thing. If we would not take others points of view so seriously, if we would not always view others opinions’ as facts, then we could be far more honest because we wouldn’t step on anyone’s toes as Honestly is expressing one’s point of view on a particular matter without sugarcoating. But I think the trouble comes from being honest is the best kind of troubles, Here is the Further explanation.
Good things about honesty
- We could just admit what we think, which would allow us to be more ourselves and be open
- We would find people that like us for who we are more often and that we form deeper connections with, rather than keeping a fake group of friends around that will not even go out of their way in the slightest in times of need.
- We would learn more about ourselves as we would recognize what we really feel inside and express it, allowing us to find what we want and how to get it far quicker.
- We would accept ourselves more as we would truthfully talk to ourselves as well.
- We will lose friends that do not like us for who we are, leaving only those that we can deeply connect to and that would be there for us without a second thought.
- We will figure out what we really want and who we really are without justifying anything and make our life what we really want it to be, leading to one filled with no regrets and one that we designed ourselves.
- And we will stand-out in this world, being truly ourselves and creating a niche both in how we live and how we are perceived, which is something most of us strive for already. So we can say that Honesty Is The Best Policy but for some certain reasons.
When we are honest we would bypass a lot of the self-loathing because we honestly admit to what we love and what we hate. We avoid pleasing others over ourselves, which leads us to do more of what we want to do and live our life more by our means.
We wouldn’t justify things anymore because we wouldn’t have to pretend anymore, which would lead to far more satisfaction in our lives. And we would live a far easier, simpler life as there would be no lies, fake personas and masks that we would need to uphold.
However, because we all built up a life based on a few lies and fake personalities, being suddenly and completely honest will lead to a lot of conflicts.
In the end, honesty is the best policy, always, however, not everyone is ready for the amount of conflicts that result from it, and that is okay.
If you do not want to deal with all the trouble it creates then do not be honest all the time. But know that for every time you are honest, your life will get a little less complicated and will become a little bit more appealing. And you want to learn more about how to find yourself in this noisy world, then read an interesting article written by me in this website by clicking here.
honesty is the best policy story
There was a hangman, executioner ( or a guillotine-man) who was a honest servant who performed all his duties with utmost sincerity and honesty. He never had a guilt in his heart for killing humans, as he thought orders of the State were supreme, and he carried out the orders in accordance with the State orders based on laws and judgement.
One day he came to know that the man to be hanged the next day was his brother. He somehow went to the cell and asked whether his brother had committed the crime. His brother said that he was being punished unlawfully to hide someone’s crime. Hangman knew his brother from childhood, and his brother had no reason to hide anything about this from him. The dilemma was great- whether the State had given a misjudgement or the State orders were aimed to hide the truth? He knew that his brother was telling the truth only.
Now, what does honesty demand here? Should the hangman make an appeal to the State to reconsider the case, or make arrangements secretly to save his brother? For the first time, he came to know that the State could be dishonest in its functions because he was convinced that his brother was innocent. ( We all know by now that State is the biggest violator of human rights). The next behaviour of the hangman will determine what honesty means for him. Before ending this story few other things can be discussed.
Now I come to certain definitions and related subjects which define honesty like psychology, evolutionary biology etc.
Psychology defines honesty as a duty to non-deceptiveness that can be equated with emotional, cognitive and behaviour authenticity. Two schools of thought exist;
- one says- honesty can be a character trait that influences whether individuals respond authentically or behave sincerely in particular situations;
- while the other school of thought says- honesty can also be a state that is elicited by the demands of various situations; individuals will respond authentically or sincerely when they have learned to define truthfulness as beneficial.
Evolutionary biology assumes that honesty is an expression of preferences that served to increase genetic fitness in the applicable past. Humans have evolved emotional predispositions that enable them to be loyal even when it is not in their material or reproductive interest. Others reading these signals, try to enter into cooperative ventures with them as the likelihood of being cheated is low. This raises the material and hence reproductive payoff of the possessor of the emotional trait of loyalty i.e. honesty.
Now what are the determinants of honesty ? It is the ability to deconstruct lies and deceits in varied situations and selecting a path of minimal conflict with the truth.
In general, honesty is the human quality of acting and communicating with integrity, integrity and authenticity, without any consideration for an award from others as reinforcement of this behaviour is nothing but self-exploration.
- The Trouble that comes from Honesty is the best kind of trouble-Dr. Brad Blanton
- Standing alone is better than standing with people who don’t value you
- The Greatest Consolation in Life is to say what one thinks – Voltaire
- Don’t Be Too Nice, Be Straightforward, you will eliminate a lot of fake people
- Be Honest, Be careful, modern life is not going to care you -Dinesh Vaghela
- “Honesty is the first chapter in the book of wisdom.” –Thomas Jefferson
- “A half-truth is a whole lie.” ~ Yiddish Proverb
- “Every lie is two lies, the lie we tell others and the lie we tell ourselves to justify it.” —Robert Brault
- “Integrity is telling myself the truth. And honesty is telling the truth to other people.” ― Spencer Johnson
- “Honesty is the best policy. If I lose mine honour, I lose myself.” – William Shakespeare
- “Honesty is more than not lying. It is truth-telling, truth speaking, truth living, and truth loving.” ― James E Faust
- “No legacy is so rich as honesty.” –William Shakespeare, All’s Well That Ends Well
- “It takes strength and courage to admit the truth.” ― Rick Riordan, The Red Pyramid
- “Honest people don’t hide their deeds.” ― Emily Brontë, Wuthering Heights
- “When you tell a lie, you steal someone’s right to the truth.” -Khaled Hosseini, The Kite Runner
I hope you found the above explanation helpful, okay so if you want to learn more on the summary of life-lessons from amazing books then check out Blinkist.