Beginner’s Guide of Building Emotional Intelligence
just for a moment think about all your positive qualities. The things that make you excited about, all thosememories in your life that charges your imagination and emotions. Things that happened to your life which gives you are feeling of goodness.
This is normally the way you think when good thoughts or a rush of dopamine hits your brain.
In other words, when you feel happy the thoughts of excitement and joy are very common. Now to let’s imagine the negative emotions, your weaknesses, and your failures in life.
Would you like to think about these emotions that resemble unpleasantness? Of course not.
What is emotional intelligence?
It is The ability to handle pressure and embracing the feeling of negatively is all related to emotional intelligence.
One may be intelligent and highly prosperous in professional life, but in his personal life, he might be all alone and lonely. This is often correlated with emotional resilience.
in simple words —
The capacity to be aware of, control, and express one’s emotions, and to handle interpersonal relationships judiciously and empathetically is called emotional intelligence
We human beings are made to enjoy a calm and uninterrupted path without any feeling of distress. Your Brain is Structured in such a way that it always tries to jump off the hard path to grab the easy one. So, to minimize resistance we end up listening to our brain instead of the heart. But those who can handle pressure, struggle, understand that comfort zones are killers of growth and rise with a smile amidst an open heart determines what basically called “emotional intelligence” of a person.
Why Emotional Intelligence is Important ?
Emotional intelligence is the gateway to experiencing a more fulfilled and happy life, and here’s why: Emotional intelligence allows you to understand and manage your emotions in order to self-motivate and to create positive social interactions; it’s the first step in realizing your true potential.
Emotional intelligence is the capacity to understand and manage your emotions. The skills involved in emotional intelligence are self-awareness, self-regulation, motivation, empathy, and social skills and without it, we can’t even properly estimate the relationship between ourselves, nor make any progress in life.
The 5 components of Emotional Intelligence- Building Emotional Intelligence
- Self-awareness — It is associated with the understanding of one’s emotions and attributes.
self-awareness is by far the most important aspect of emotional intelligence as it helps you to point out your strengths and weaknesses helping you to know yourself in a more in-depth approach.
People who have a high degree of self-awareness recognize how their feelings affect them, other people,and their job performance.
and it also lets you think about what is good for you and what is not. In simple words, it makes you morepragmatic.
Some Emotional intelligence questionnaire
Are you part of the 80% of people who think they are self-aware but do not demonstrate self-aware behaviors? So, here are a few questions that will help you to identify yourself in a more reliable way —
1. How would you know if you were not self-aware?
2. What are your strengths and weaknesses?
3. Where are you best-positioned to do your best work?
4. What is your personal mission?
5. What legacy do you want to leave for your family, colleagues, and community?
6. Have you aligned your behaviors around your personal mission?
7. Who has the ability and willingness to give you accurate and candid feedback?
8.Where you want to see yourself as 5 years from now?
- Self-regulation — What would you do in a crowded train where a man stepped onto your shoe and instead of saying sorry he frowned at you and goes away.
Would you confront him? scream at him?
well, this is what most of the people would do. Most of the people you meet every day are not self-regulated.
They are either controlled by circumstances or by their social surrounding.
The ability to control and control your emotions in spite of bad mood and emotional impulses is called self-regulation.
How to control overwhelming emotions?
if you feel your emotions rushing, Turn your attention to the breath. Focus on it, going in and out.
When your mind wanders, return to your breath.
Give it 10–20 seconds at first.
Neuroscience says that even a little bit of it can calm those feelings of distress and get your head straight on your goal.
- Sustainable Motive — Good Intention andMotivation basically comes from a desire, it is having an intrinsic desire to achieve and accomplish things.
Boost your motivation by tracking your accomplishments, and initiating small and incremental progress.
Keep a list of everything you want to have, the values you want to add, and where you want to see yourself in years from now.
- Empathy proposal — Having the ability to understand and share the feeling of others really strengthens you emotionally.
There are generally 3 distinctive types of Empathy
- Emotional empathy — It is also known as effective empathy or primitive empathy. It is our automatic drive to respond appropriately to another’s emotions.
This kind of empathy happens automatically, and often unconsciously. It has also been referred to as the vicarious sharing of emotions
2. Cognitive empathy — Cognitive empathy is the largely conscious drive to recognize accurately and understand another’s an emotional state. Sometimes we call this kind of empathy “perspective-taking.”
3.Compassion — Compassion is the willingness to help the other party in case of any discomfort.
- Social Skills — It is the ability to build rapport and manage relationships — with a goal in mind.
Social skills are the skills we use to communicate and interact with each other, both verbally and non-verbally, through gestures, body language, and our personal appearance.
Human beings are sociable creatures and we have developed many ways to communicate our messages, thoughts, and feelings with others.
What are Some interesting Social Skills —
- Look people in the eyes — It creates a sense of bonding between each other.
2. Smile — Smile is a Powerfulweapon for communication but Not too frequent, not too much, and make sure to Smile slowly.
3. Ask questions — But don’t kill another person’s enthusiasm as if an inspector is investigating them. Rather, show genuine interest in another person’s life and experiences.
4. Don’t talk too much. When someone tells a story, stop your urge to follow up with an example from your own life. Rather say: “Wow, that’s cool!”
5. When you introduce someone, make him or her a superstar. “This is my friend Tom. I met him at my first workplace and he saved my ass when I had my first project deadline! I cannot imagine what would have happened without him.”
6. Try to remember the names — I know most of the people emphasize that they are terrible at remembering names. Dale Carnegie once said That the name of a person is the Sweetest words to his ear so if you want to grab attention, call by their name. They will Love it
it is a skill like any other and can be picked up quickly. Ask a new person to repeat the name if you haven’t heard.
Repeat loudly after them. Ask a mutual friend later for help in the case you forget. People really like it when you remember their names. It is worth some practice.
7. Make a silent break — It will make you more persuasive and confident. People really like that. Don’t be tempted to explain the same thing 5 times or to fill every break with talk. Short breaks are very powerful.
8. When someone is interrupted in the midst of the story, ask that person to continue.
“Hey, can you please finish your story about bicycle ride.
Can I hear the rest please?” People Love this.
They feel uncomfortable when their stories are interrupted and this tiny hack will give them a feeling that they are appreciated and heard. People want to be understood and by doing this you not only leave your mark but also make a silent break.
These factors are mostly hidden from you, since school you never learned about this. Now, that you are lucky to find these it’s up to you “How you use these emotional intelligence techniques”.
Whether you accomplish something big and satisfactory, still your personal life is a whole new chapter.
Focusing on the relevancy of your emotional behavior can surely boost your mental strength in a better way,
The ways described above are proven and can help even a beginner to learn on “How to build emotional intelligence”.I would love to know any other thoughts that you have.
Which is your favorite emotional intelligence question from the questionnaire above ?